Yeah, as alot of you may have/ or probably not have noticed, I've been offline and such. The reason is, I feel most of my mates the I used to get along with so well, seem to have suddenly been avoiding me and just not caring anymore, I know they have problems to deal with, but I don't see why that gives them the excuse to treat me like crap, and attack me and take advantage of my kindness, I have alot of problems in my life, but I put em aside to help others, and it seems to just be making my life worse.
When I first joined the internet back in last July or June, I didn't have the intention of getting everyone to like me, I just wanted to get along like so many others, but some people just didn't want it, I've tried being as nice as possible and caring, but no one really wants to know me anymore, I've been picked on, had rumours spread about me, and slagged off in chats for an accident that happend a freakin year ago!
I've noticed alot of my freinds onine, have been down, and I've tried and TRIED to help them and be there for them, in the end, I just feel used, they attack for helping them, ignore my help and advice, and even start saying how wonderful and caring other people are, on purpose, making me feel that all this time helping them was a waste of time, I've made plenty of gifts and never gpt a thank you, not even a fav from the person I did it for, out of the 7 peices of gift art I've done, anloy 3 have faved them, and said thank you....
All I've wanted to do is make people happy, and help peolple out of their depression, but it seems I just make it worse, what makes me feels more upset, is that these people seem to be sooo happy everywhere else, so maybe I'M the one making them feel worse? That's what it seems like anyway, it's the same when I go in the YC I feel I just totally kill the mood, and am attacked for the smallest thing, or just ingored...
Also, people seem to take advantage of my kindness, and sometimes, knowing I've made my "freinds" upset, makes me feel worse, adding more stress onto my already stressed out life. I'm only 15, I've got my GCSEs totake care of, plus school and home poblems have been letting me down, and I'm doing the best I can to be happy and caring, putting MY problems aside, of course, when I need alittle help and care on my own problems, no one realy cares, I give all this help, but when it's me in need, no one wants to help, they just go "aaaw" and then go dead. Like I said, I only want to make people happy and try and help them out of their problems, but ti seems all I'm doing is making people more upset, angry, annoyed and abusive towards me, and that makes me feel reay horrid inside. So maybe, it'd be better if I didn't come online again, I'm sorr to all those I made miserable, and hope maybe, things will be alittle better now I'm not there, you never know, maybe people will cheer up. I'll still finish Megs gift art and submit afew more arts, and I'll check up on the cafe at YA as I'm still a mod their, but other than that I'm done.
so again, I'm sorry.....